Last Christmas one of my co-workers gave me one of those joke-a-day calendars as a gift. This particular one happens to be just chocked full of "You might be a redneck if..." bits of comics genius. (Canst thou smellest te sarcasm?)
Some of them are really funny, others make my head spin in circles and feel like I should be spewing split-pea soup...sorry, sidetracked.
The particular thing that drove home to me exactly where I live went something like this...If you've ever bummed a dip of snuff from your mom, you just might be a redneck.
Now there are several people where I earn my daily bread who most definitely fit the redneck category, and even they found this one to be just plain gross. I share these daily gems with one lady in particular who responded with a story about a woman she works with in a gorcery store who always has a dip in her mouth and a spit cup close at hand. She asked, "Can you even imagine dating someone who did that?"
I thought about this for a minute and responded, "Do you have any idea where I grew up?" I not only dated girls with "snuff rings" on their hip pockets, since I worked in a grocery store in high school, I also supplied their habit with my employee discount.
I of course bought them gum as well.
Tole
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3 comments:
I wish I had saved some of those brown squarish bottles my Great-grandmother had. You remember those? They were the ones that Garrett's Powdered Snuff came in. She dipped every day. But she is the only woman I know who ever dipped.
You actually kissed girls who dipped leafy tobacco?
Well, I made 'em rinse their mouths first, but yeah. When you fish from a small pond, you have to keep what you catch because there aren't that many fish to begin with.
Well, I kissed MiMi,too, but on the cheek. And my Beloved Grandad chewed tobacco after he got emphysema. Now that is REALLY gross. He got cheek kisses,too.
Somehow, I imagine the kissing you did was not quite as "chaste" as these kisses.
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